yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
