Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
