i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
