What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
