so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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