put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
