on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i came on her dog
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
