I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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