out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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