I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
