how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
