U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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