I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
