I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
