i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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