You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
