white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
there was a trapeze. enough said
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
