he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
