He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
