What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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