im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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