How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
