I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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