He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
