I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
