i just google imaged poop.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
