I can tuck mytits in my pants
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
