Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
