Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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