my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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