I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
