we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
