YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
