you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
