i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
