Can i not drive my cunt home
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
