No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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