I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
