xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
