What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Randomize
