Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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