she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
