it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
