Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
