oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
