Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize
