Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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