sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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