just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
