I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
