Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Man, jail baloney is awful.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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